God Bless Adolf Hitler
What?!?!?!?
Note: nothing sexier than a pissed off jew....especially if he thinks he's being crucified!
Here, I'll say it again:
GOD BLESS ADOLF HITLER
Fighting words, I know...
Why would I type such a thing on such a beautiful morning while Billy Holiday is singing in the background of the Boca Raton Starbucks?
Adolf Hitler before sunrise?
Hang on now.... give me a second to gather my thoughts why I typed...
Here's something you might not know about me and my writing techniques: I hate to edit so I write it mostly perfect the first time, then when it comes time to edit all anybody has to do is fix a couple of type-O's, or do a little this and that, tweak a word here, tug a word there, pull a little with slight pressure...yes, tweaking really...
Tweak tweak...
Stop
Notice
Where's your mind right now?
Did you have a little dirty thought just by reading the word tweak? Isn't it a word that has been used for fixing things, we tweak a ____________ to fix the ____________?
What's happening in your body when you read the word tweak?
Do you notice something? Is it in your shoulder? Is your neck stiff, running pain down the arm, you want to stretch your neck but you can't and you know there is someone out there who sees exactly where you need to be touched but you don't know where she is and so you have to touch it yourself?
Filthy vixen whore...such dirty thoughts, already?
That's what my mother would say to me if she read that last paragraph.
That's what Karen thought I was because of how I behaved with Aaron.
Shit.
I said I wouldn't use his name and there I go...dropping the A-Bomb, just like Big Eddie and the F-Bomb, right before sunrise.
Hmmmm....
Good point....
Will Aaron be mad?
I doubt it...he's not too smart and I don't think he's even online at all. Plus he doesn't have my new blog website address since I created it to be viewed by invitation only and you had to email me personally to get the link and he and I aren't linked together, we only worked together for a couple of months at Whole Foods....
Note: I have worked for Whole Foods for 5 years now and have been out on a medical leave treating a disease that no one can see but everybody knows I have...sometimes it is call insanity but in today's society we call it Post Tramatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. Part of my healing practice is to write every day...doctor's orders, really. So it was bound to come out that I was out sick but my doctors won't release me to return to work yet and my sister is having open-heart surgery on _________. We don't know because we're still trying to find the surgeon and get the operating room booked but we know for sure she's going in the hospital again before Valentine's Day so that's why I'm headed to Seattle.
All of that being said, please take all of my writings as whatever... but remember that I am a terrible liar. That is a true statement. You can ask my mother because she can smell a liar 1 million miles away...no body gets past her...the real black widow...
I digress...but it is connected....
Aaron. I repeated a patter with Aaron and that is what I am looking at really, not Rolland. But Rolland is a clue to find the one who can fulfill my desires. And the truth of the matter is that I have dated every Doctor, Lawyer, Professor, Scientist, Contractor, Real Estate Mogul, Entrepreneur (I dated one guy just last month who was worth millions and millions of dollars and had not one but 2 companies and he flew his 3 dogs out here in a private jet when he missed him! I am not making this shit up! My taste and selections have awesome power!) I mean, for real, how many more men do I have to date before finding my man?
Nobody hates hearing me type words like that more than me...it is so shallow....so sex in the city...so much fluff. But hear me out, I've got a point here.
I pull back, rise above the situation and look at this attraction to a front end supervisor from a different point of view. What are the job duties of the supervisor? Watch over the money. Make sure it all goes into the bank and that we are on track.
That's the idea I'm attracted to because I am a weak woman who loves to shop. It's true. I am a shopping whore and men love and hate that quality about women. They like it because they feel powerful when they can afford to buy us something beautiful, shiny, pretty...because that's how they feel about us. They see us and see pretty shiny objects.
I loved how shiny Rolland thought I was...the way his eyes followed me around the store and ladies, can I have a witness right now before I TELL YOU THE NEXT TRUTH?
AMEN SISTER...KEEP GOING!
THANK YOU SISTER!
FACT: THERE IS NO BETTER FEELING IN THE WORLD THAN WHEN A MAN YOU ARE SO ATTRACTED TO FINALLY NOTICES YOU AND GIVES YOU THE ONCE-OVER WHILE YOU ARE STANDING THERE NAKED AND THEY LET YOU KNOW THAT THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE!!! THE ONCE-OVER DRIVES ME WILD!!!
AMEN AMEN AMEN
A MAN A MAN A MAN
wHOOO! Oh yeah....alright now...calm down sister....
My Mother has a lot of theories about men and all of them are hilarious! She's a fucking laugh riot! For example, my mother told my sister, the one with the bad heart, that Indian men (the real guys from India) kick their wives out of bed in the United States when their mother visits from India and he sleeps with her when she is in town in the marital bed!
I laughed so hard when she said this!!! HILARIOUS!! I mean really? Kick the wife out to replace her with the mother?
Anne told Apu (sorry but I cannot spell aroge? what's his name? know that I use the Simpson's reference only because I do not remember...) this story right before his mother came over from India and he about shit his pants laughing! I mean come on!!! A grown man sleeping with his mother? What if the only good night's sleep he can get is when he is in his mother's arms? What if the mother has enough strength for him to finally rest, for just a little while...what if she brings some mercy to his tired brain?
Indian men are so fucking smart.
whoops...I promised I wouldn't judge until I was finished....
Yeah, he was a supervisor....where all the money is....
And he wasn't my first supervisor that I've fallen in love with...there have been 3 total, 2 in Boca Raton and the 3rd in Ft. Lauderdale....
The first supervisor of monies that I fell in Love with was named ROLLAND
WARNING: Just thinking about Rolland drives me wild...just looking at his name so I might get a little out of control while thinking about another man, but it is just fantasy and no body gets hurt and I took a vow of celibacy many, many years ago and have held steadfast in my quest to having a reborn pussy, so let's see what my endurance is like for a little while, okay? I mean really men...haven't you had enough orgasams for a while? What about my needs? What if I want my needs met first this time?
What if what if what if what if what if what if......
What if I talk about all this sex stuff just to keep you interested, Aaron? What if all of this is just to capture your heart? What if I am willing to do anything to.....
But you already know....you know what a liar I am.
TIME PRINT
6:54 AM
STARBUCKS
BOCA RATON, FL
Wow.
Close call
Let me pull back a little and let's slow this down....and how did I get there from Adolf Hitler?
Rolland, the sexiest black man in Boca Raton.
Wait kids, what does Capitan Obvious have to say about Rolland?
Capitan Obvious says that isn't too hard to be, the fairest in the land when you are living in Boca Raton. There are black men here, but most of them are retired sports figures and those kinds of guys all look the same to me.
Let's get a visual first and then let's judge:
Rolland: 6'2" 220 more ore less but really strong body like an awesome soccer star...swift and graceful and he is from Jamaca....ooooh lalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaa
Here's what sucks about my life...I was raised by a racist who hates black men. And let me tell you nothing pisses me off more than someone passing judgment before they have all the facts in front of them...please just consider another option before you decide no blacks allowed because when you see Rolland through my sister Anne's eyes, you're gonna fall in love too!
And what if I am in love with a white man with a black soul?
Then what?
Huh?
No comments:
Post a Comment