Sexy Seattle

I'm into full-figured cities. Seattle has put on a few hundred thousand properties since I moved away from here in 2001 and she is more beautiful than ever. The way she has grown is lovely. The new architecture has a real Frank Lloyd Wright feeling, clean lines, interesting curves, recycled building materials. Usually, I respond with disgust when witnessing urban development but in Seattle I can understand it. I see why everyone wants to live here. Seattle is a strong city, beautiful city. She can take it.

What I love most are the grocery stores. As a classically trained chef, the grocery store is where the culinary creativity lives. In South Florida there are only two choices where to shop: Whole Foods or Publix. And when you have a personal commitment to eating only natural and organic foods, the choice is only Whole Foods. In Seattle there are so many choices and the food is so much more affordable (only by comparison, mind you.) It will be hard to keep me out of all the Co-ops, Trader Joe's, Rainbow Grocery's and Thriftways...wow...so many choices! And they all have Komboucha!

Note: I am addicted to Komboucha. I know I said I didn't have any addictions but this one is a really good one. But it is not for the weak soul...you gotta be ready to drink down this live cultured raw "tea". It is an acquired taste. It balances out your blood sugars, is packed with B vitamins (keeps you sane!) and has all sorts of excellent healing properties. My favorite part about it is that it aids in digestion and when you love wheat but can't digest it...it's a real life saver (and then I don't have to be that freak at the dinner table with all those food restrictions.) Once at Cafe Flora, I had a customer tell me that he was vegan and he couldn't eat wheat, garlic, nigh-shade vegetables (tomatoes, onions, peppers, eggplant, zucchini) and most starches. Then he wanted me to have the chef make something for him. I came back with a glass of water and said "Bon Appetite!" I will never make my food restrictions on another person's responsibility!

Seattle...the men are tall, there are creative people everywhere, people exercise outside in the rain, they take alternative forms of transportation, they eat their vegetables, and lord have mercy...the food is fantastic here! Why did I leave you again?

Oh yeah...the rain.

It's been sunny since I arrived. People look at me funny...I don't fit in with the look, especially since I've taken on this "rocker-chick" persona. My new look includes fitted black leather biker jacket, short hair, interesting rings on every finger, good posture, tight jeans (I got a good booty...or so I am told,) and my color of choice these days is black. Being 6 feet tall and having swinging curves doesn't hurt either. I'm a head turner and I have only recently accepted that fact. Having had my body transformed with the 150+ weight loss has been quite empowering but having my Hashimot's disease under control is the best part. However, I don't "fit in" with the Seattle look. Which is fine, but people have looked at me quite a bit since I've arrived. Maybe it's the silver lame over-sized purse? Maybe I should get a new hand bag.

The new look is part of my healing process. It reminds me that I have the power to speak-up when something is wrong or if I am in danger. This is important since I am a victim of violent crime, so part of that is me knowing that if I have to defend myself, I can...physically. People have always assumed that I could fight someone off if I needed too, but my history has proven with me that I do not respond with fight or flight. I respond with paralysis. Deer in the head lights. I freeze up. I was raised in a violent home and developed an unhealthy tolerance to anger and rage...that's no good.

When I was hanging out with Leslie at our neighborhood Starbucks in Pompano Beach, she talked quite a bit about guns. In Seattle, I've not met anyone who has a subscription to "The American Rifleman", the NRA magazine. Remember, this NRA is not the National Restaurant Association...and when I told Leslie that I was a graduate of the CIA she perked right up...but that was disappointing to her since it was the Culinary Institute of America. She was raised with guns and not only is she skilled with her little guns that she carries with her, she told me stories at how she punched men. She hit men! Man abuse!

I think man abuse, happens more often than spoken about. Anne's old boyfriend, SS and I remained friends for long time after they split up. They did too until he got married...his feelings of love for her never changed and the wife was jealous so their friendship had to be on the side. Don't get me started about my feelings on jealously...it is one of my hot buttons and I don't tolerate it! It leads to deception and all sorts of problems and that is exactly what happened to their marriage.

SS and I did business together and we visited often when he relocated to the Southwest. He hired me as a consultant several times for his businesses and we were a good team and he made a lot of money off of my creative ideas (although he never paid me in full...he was an asshole that way, but I love him like a brother.) He and his wife were my friends. When their marriage ended we talked quite a bit. It was hard for him to tell me how she used to hit him. She was a husband beater. She was much smaller than him but she was very physically fit and she could throw a punch.

It broke my heart to think about this and I am sure he felt an additional layer of shame and humiliation because it was a woman hitting a man. I guess if I watched "COPS" this wouldn't have come as such a surprise...women beating up men...but it is out there. Leslie told me how she hit men and left bruises too. She said it with pride; that it was a good thing to be able to defend herself. Plus she always carried a gun...

It is important to be able to defend yourself but I do not think I would feel good after hitting anyone...for any reason. Even in self-defense.

When did women start beating men? Where did that come from? Is it hormonal? Is it all the Tai Bo? Is it Freeda Foreman wining all those boxing matches? Is it in the drinking water? Is it a karmic response to their partners? I don't know.

I'm happier with my new "don't fuck with me" look. I wish I had it when I was held against my will for 3 1/2 hours in November, but it is how it is...no time for regret.

I just finished Gene Wilder's autobiography. I always felt he was a kindred spirit and when I read his birth name was Jerry Silberman, well...then I knew we were somehow connected, be it in perspective or spirit. What I loved most about his book was his remembering that if it weren't for the bad thing or perceived bad thing that happened, it wouldn't have led him to where he was now which was a much better place. It is kinda a 6 degrees to Kevin Bacon sort of thing...you know, how all things in life can be measured back to Kevin Bacon? Remember that? Anne...you'll need to go into more details on that, you're the "Entertainment Weekly" reader. A great reminder to keep all things that happen to you in perspective, so here goes:

If it weren't for that fateful 3 1/2 hour meeting that changed my life forever I wouldn't have started writing again, I wouldn't have gone to my writing workshop to make new contacts with literary agents, I wouldn't have met Dr. Paul and done so much healing, I wouldn't have been able to be here for Anne and Lisa during this critical time in our lives, I wouldn't have had so many wonderful friends and people reach out with love and support...so many great things wouldn't have happened to me...

So I rock on. If you see me on the street, don't be intimidated. Or better yet, be intimidated. That's your issue. I won't hit you. I won't hurt you. I just look like I might.

So much love,
All the way from over here...
Linda