Sunday, Sunday

A tan Prius is parked in front of a fire hydrant outside of Cafe Ladro in Fremont. What does that say about the ecological people of this area? That it is good to drive a hybrid and screw the rest of the world if there is a fire because I will use less carbon to start my engine so I deserve to park here? Yikes! I see what happens to me when I am cold. I get jaded, judgmental, pejorative. Oie Vey!

Yes, god. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you.

It is bitter cold again but the sun poked its lazy head through the ominous clouds so maybe we will be blessed with temperatures above 40 today. I have been suffering from self-absorbed boredom. Anne is much better but still on pain meds and she wants to do the transfer where I give her her car back and she starts to live alone again. This is a good thing and I am glad she is feeling strong enough to do so. I'll be moving over to Lisa's place which is more centrally located than Anne's place which is way out there in nowhere's land. It is nice and quiet, but it is a tiny one room with bathroom...no kitchen, no internet, no TV, no this and that. I told my astrologer that I was living like a Monk and he reminded me that it would be a Nun, but I do feel more like a monk.

Identifying as a Nun means marriage. A nun is married to God. That's what the ceremony is. A monk is a devoted servant of god. That feels right. The idea of a marriage to god means that there could be a divorce. I've witnessed that...people divorcing god. I've felt divorced from God, from feeling devoted to a supreme force that is able to remove my self-imposed suffering and watch what happens. Turning my woes over to god was a favorite pass-time of mine and I've fallen out of grace with that reality.

The reality is that there is no suffering except self-inflicted suffering. Oh sure, there's suffering. Don't get me wrong, but focusing attention onto the suffering and not the joy; the other aspects of life, that the situation or circumstances that surround us are only temporary...that is where wisdom comes in.

Years ago I was a dining room manager for this incredible upscale vegetarian restaurant called Cafe Flora. They're still opened and it was a revolutionary place when it opened back in 1991 where the idea was to offer health insurance to all who worked there, have profit-sharing, vacation pay for servers (unheard of in the industry still!) and provide a strong sense of community by investing in the neighborhood and people. The restaurant was built in a very questionable part of town and it was a converted laundromat that the architects created; one of the first "green" buildings in Seattle. They were forward thinking capturing energy from the hood system and rerouting it to preheat the hot water to use less energy...we had a garden for herbs and flowers. Recycling and composting were a part of our daily routine. It was and still is a beautiful oasis.

The people who were drawn to work there are still connected today. I tell ya, it was a magical project. It was the place where I learned how to change from being a manager and into a collaborative leader. Part of my job there was to write the schedule.

Schedule making for a group of highly independent, forward thinking people who all want the best shifts possible was a terrible thing. I hate scheduling...and I still hate this task. I mean, I believe that a schedule should be made by all looking at the needs and everyone contributing and making adjustments as needed. Unfortunately, that wasn't how all the servers saw it. There were many fights, whining, complaints...you know how servers can get. They are like prima ballerinas all believing that they should be the star of the show.

I wrote two pieces of wisdom on the walls of Cafe Flora that are still there today.

1) TOAST TAKES TIME!

This is very true. Toast does take time. Remember that people when you are making breakfast, start your toast first, then your eggs. I can't stress this enough! When we started to serve Brunch at Cafe Flora timing toast with the breakfast was always a challenge and this was the way that I helped them get through this obstacle. When I see friends from Flora today, at some point in our conversation someone will say with a cocked head, "Toast takes time!" like a little piece of wisdom that this too will pass or don't be so impatient with whatever is bothering you.

2) NOTHING IS PERMANENT. ESPECIALLY THE SCHEDULE.

The Buddha has a quote that says, "Nothing is permanent" I just expanded on that a bit more to bring it back to today. I mention it now because it has started to snow again. It isn't pretty, let's go skiing snow either. It is freakish April snow in Seattle. It is cold and my coffee addiction is back in full-swing.

People are in huge denial about the weather here too. I know because I have lived in that state of denial too Oh well. Nothing is permanent, especially the weather. Global warming my ass. I say it is global freezing!

I send you warm thoughts and hopes for bright, sunny days again soon.

So much love,
all the way over here...freezing my ass off.
Linda