Spring is here...

I was running some errands near Phinney Ridge yesterday and when I got into the car, there were two bugs doing it on the windshield...end to end. My first thought was, "Golly, that's an interesting position. Get it on sister!" I watched for a minute or two, fascinated at the live-action on the Nissan window. "Well, that's nice that someone's getting laid." I said to myself.

Not wanting to disturb the procreation of the insect community, I waited another moment or two and they didn't stop. I waited another minute...then another. "Geeze! These guys are really getting it on!" I thought while watching the thorax move in time with the abdomen. Watching the clock now, I noticed that 4 minutes had passed since I arrived in the car. They were having a good time! I needed to get going and to my sister's house and walk the dogs, so I started up the car thinking that the bugs would fly away or at the very least, disengage with the force of the vehicle, but no! They kept at it! I slowly started to drive up the hill on Phinney Ridge towards Lisa's place.

Birds do it.
Bees do it.
Even educated fleas do it.

My inner scientist took over. At what speed would the bugs disengage their sexual encounter and fly off the windshield? I decided to not go directly to my sister's house choosing a longer route which included higher speed limits. I accelerated to 20 MPH and the bugs kept at it.

"Good work insects!" I said out loud. I was cheering for them! As I drove on, I wondered if they were even aware of the their surroundings. Did it feel different for them doing it on a parked car vs. a moving vehicle? I know I've done it in a parked car and it wasn't very comfortable, but it was an experiment back in the day and we didn't get to try it with the car moving.

Did these bugs live in Phinney Ridge and would they notice that we'd move towards the zoo? Do they have any family at the zoo? Did these bugs have a community? I know the ones that live in hives do and ants do too, but these bugs I couldn't identify. They looked a little like lightning bugs, winged creatures, but different. Plus there aren't any lightning bugs out here in the Northwest. That was one of the things I always missed about the East coast. I love lightning bugs...like watching a star-filled sky in the trees.

I increased my speed. 35 MPH. Bugs still going at it, right in the center of the driver's side windshield! Man oh man! Did they have a bug's version of Viagra? Or is there Viagra in the water that these bugs have drunk from giving them extra endurance? I know a lot of men who could learn a few things from this little ambitious bug! The female looked over her shoulder at the male with that all too familiar look of, "Are you done yet?" And he looked back at her, raised his wings, adjusting his tiny legs and with his footing strong, kept the motion in the ocean going.

10 minutes had passed now since I started timing this lovemaking. We were nearly in Ballard now. A cruel thought came to me to turn on the windshield wipers and put them both out of my misery. I was feeling jealous of these bugs and the action! What the fuck?!? How sad, I thought and I quickly banished that thought from my mind. I stop at the light and decide to turn north on 8th Ave and head towards 85th street. I needed to buy a juicer and I could spare a few more minutes before the puppies really needed to be walked.

4 minutes later and I am pulling into the Fred Meyer in Greenwood. I park and the male bug looks up at me, relieved that the car has stopped and with renewed enthusiasm continues pounding his lady. "This is crazy!" I think. 14 minutes has passed since I got into the car and now the bugs were several miles away from our starting point.

I start talking out loud to the bugs through the windshield. "Do you guys intend to do it all day long? I've got places to go and things to do and now you are in Greenwood. Do you even care where we are?" I ask them. They don't reply.

17 minutes has passed and the male stops his humping. The female detaches and flies away. I tell the male I'd give it a cigarette but I don't smoke anymore and he looks at me, twitches his antennae and flies away.

Where he got the power to fly after that action, I don't know. Most the men I know can't even get out of bed to fetch a glass of water after 20 minutes of coitus. Imagine if they had to fly following having sex on top of a moving bus.

I say a loving prayer for the bugs hoping that they now had great stories to tell their friends and continued on with my shopping. The encounter I took as a good omen that in this world of Seattle-liberal-perfection, that there is space for a couple of bugs to get it on...maybe there is hope for me too.

So much love,
All the way from over here...
Linda