Seattle and I are in denial about our relationship. I left her (in this situation Seattle is definitely the woman and I am the man...not that us being same sex is wrong, it just is how it is for us) nearly eight years ago for good reason. We discussed it and although we thought I was only leaving for a short while, we both agreed that the longer I am gone the better.
In 1999, after the WTO Marshal Law was imposed on the city where anarchists took to looting in the streets, smashing in Starbucks store fronts with city trash cans, I though to myself...maybe it is time for me to leave this place. And then that 6.8 earthquake hit, shaking bricks off of the side of the building I was working, the Alaskan Viaduct was closed for weeks due to serious damage and fears of aftershocks that it would flatten it like a pancake...just like in the Bay Area was pretty scary. And then Seattle produced the longest stretch of rain, 97 days, in record. That was it! That was my limit. The earthquakes, the Marshal Law, the rain...all good reasons for a separation.
When I returned here a couple of months ago, my spirits were good...strong, steady. Ready to help but my help was rejected. Friends unavailable or unable to connect with me and this terrible cold weather aided my funk to quickly returned. Finally, when I completely accepted the rain and cold on Saturday, walking more than six miles in it, willingly, accepting the frigid air and freezing rain...it stops.
Now it is beautiful and this is exactly where she acts like my wife. It's the make-up sex that keeps me in this relationship. The make-up sex is all about the sunshine, the clean air, happy smiling people everywhere. This is the part that I love and hate the most. When she is like this, I want to believe her that she will be smiling, happy weather ready to meet my needs. When the sun is shining it is all about me. She takes care of me, gives me ideas of things to do, places to go, to be alive in this beautiful place. That is what she is doing now, suggesting that it will be warm and sunny for the next few days; maybe even a week!
And I get sucked right back in. Oh baby! How could I have thoughts of leaving you? Why would I want to do so? Why do we fight so much? Come here and cuddle with me a minute...let me get you a cup of coffee...
Oh that's another thing...my caffeine addiction is in full swing again. Thank you Howard Schultz. I am back to my gotta get a coffee mode, which is not a place where I like to be. I don't like to be addicted to anything, but Greg Nichols (Seattle mayor) has required that all persons living within the city limits must consume at least 12 oz of coffee a day to keep all the over educated, under employed Seattle community alive. It is considered community service to drink coffee here. Seattle has the most educated baristas employed anywhere. I've talked to some of these overeducated coffee maids and they can bring in over a hundred bucks a day in tips! That is if you are in the right location, like in Fremont which used to be the center of the Universe (self-proclaimed) and now it is the center of the Universe for software writers. A great place to work and live and get your quad Venti half-caff soy macchiato.
Note: I've only ordered that once. Too much soy milk for me. I stick to black coffee with brown sugar and cream...and I really prefer the baking brown sugar, not the sugar in the raw but I'll use that. The brown sugar adds a richness that is less sweet than regular sugar but deeper in flavor. See? I was totally off my brown sugar addiction in South Florida.
Oh but Momma does like her brown sugar, don't she now?
So Seattle and I are having make-up sex. Sunny and sixty degrees is all it takes. I am rewarded with very early sunrises and late sunsets. I forgot how light it stays up here. She has been whispering in my ear how if I leave then she's going to be like this all the time and all my tears would have been for nothing. Is that what I want?
Okay, okay. I'll stay for the month of May. I'll juice everyday and feed myself excellent foods, continue with my healing and excessive walking and see how it goes. Mary the psychic says I'm not supposed to be here and I am sure she is right, but for today I will stay in Seattle, have a second cup of coffee and ask myself why I let Seattle get to me so much? She's just behaving like she always done. I've known her for well over 20 years now. Haven't I learned anything yet?
But you know how it is when she gives you a warm sunny kiss...
so much love,
All the way from over here,
Linda
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