Tuesday, September 16, 2008

AIG: Cupcakes and Idiots

The dirty blond woman in her late thirties dressed in a Donna Karan navy suit was not having a good day when she approached the counter and placed her order. The two dozen pink and white cupcakes would not ease her anxiety. I carefully hand selected and packaged her cupcake order. When handing her the credit card receipt, I sincerely said, "Have a lovely day."

"That's unlikely!" she huffed.

"Oh?" I asked genuinely interested.

"Yes." she said curtly. "I work for AIG as an attorney. I'm sure I'll be fired as the company goes bankrupt today. Don't you watch the news?"

"Oh no. I find it far too depressing. It's pretty bad today, huh?" I asked, referring to the wall street crash of yesterday. It was in all the morning headlines.

"Yeah it's bad!" she practically yells at me. My laissez-faire attitude fuels her anxiety.

"Well, you could always run a cupcake shop." I say cheerfully with a smile. "We're hiring and expanding."

"Ugh. No!" she sneers with disgust. "I am used to making real money!" She hastily grabs the cupcakes and storms out of the shop.

The money I make isn't real to her because it lacks a couple of zeros.

I am sure when she looses her Upper West Side apartment and her creditors come calling for the overdue balance on her American Express Card for all those sixty dollar cupcakes shes been impulsively buying to drown her sorrows, she may want to take a moment to reflect on an alternative lifestyle. Being an uppity cunt-bitch is great and all, but those who sneers down at lowly cupcake workers can't buy you points into heaven. Not that I believe in heaven, mind you, but I do believe that we create our own heaven and hell reality. And chasing the all mighty dollar for a corrupt insurance group who snags billions in profits and then screws the lawyers who made it all happen...well, it seems kind of like karma at work. Maybe there is a god.

And maybe she likes little pink cupcakes.


So much love,
All the way from over here...
Linda

4 comments:

Mickey said...

LOOLOOOLOL that shit was funny!

Lol

Priceless line:
"Being an uppity cunt-bitch is great and all, but those who sneers down at lowly cupcake workers can't buy you points into heaven."

Awesome!!

- A - C - said...

Ohhhh... how I would have liked to watch the whole play from a comfortable chair, while sipping a good coffee and enjoying [a VERY TINY portion of] a chocolate mud cake.

Ironically, her real money are much more unreal than yours. While you traveled the world and heard priceless teachings, she still has to understand how to taste a filled cake.

A.

Linda S. Silberman said...

Mickey: Thanks for the comments. I love how you praise and point out what sections you like. It is really helpful to me.
XO
L.

AC: Oh, you are so right! I was thinking about it and all of this mess is from virtual monies and now the USA Federal Gvmt will bail them out with 58 BILLION dollars....that our country doesn't even have and the US tax payers will foot the bill.

And we think Universal Health Care is a stupid idea? Oh please AC...find me someone to marry in the EU...you must know someone so I can escape this crazy system!
XO
L.

Lisa said...

Gee, if we'd just leave Iraq and Afganastan, we'd all of a sudden have trillions of dollars to play with. Cupcake bitch should have her face stuffed in the frosting!!