The Green Tortoise Part XII

Tuesday July 1st, 2008
Grand Tetons
Jackson Hole, MT

Back in my corporate days, I used to ask unusual questions when interviewing potential new hires. At first I started out with the tame 1980's new-age typed query, like "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" While I was working for Whole Foods, I changed that question to relate to the different department I was interviewing for, so if you wanted to work in the Specialty department I would ask, "If you were a piece of cheese, what kind of cheese would you be and why?" Or the meat department, "If you were a cut of meat, what kind of meat would you be and why?" The answers showed creativity and product knowledge.

I became bored of those questions so I started asking more abstract like "If you could be an action hero, who would you be and why?" Those who wanted to be Superman burned out too fast. those who wanted to be Spiderman were good at finding solutions. Don't hire Batman because he lives in some crazy fantasy world where he has an unlimited budget to spend and can't will order everything he sees in the Office Depot catalog!

I used to do a lot of interviewing and I became bored with that question too until one day. A stroke of genius happened while conducting interviews and this became my favorite question to date, "If you had to eliminate on of the fifty states, which one would it be and why?"

I found it surprising at how many people hate Rhode Island. California, I expected but not little Rhode Island! It was also interesting to watch how many people didn't know half of the fifty states and watching them make a decision was part of the interview...were they able to make a decisive decision and feel firm by it? Did they waver between two states? Could they even make a choice having so many to choose from? And why did they settle on their choice?

If someone asked me right now, today, what state I would I choose it would be an easy decision.

WYOMING

I fucking hate Wyoming! I wish it would just be split into parts and absorbed by all the states surrounding it...or better yet, let's give it away to Canada! Or how about we lease the space to another country in need of some beautiful land unlike its natural habitat where the locals could get away....maybe Belize or Cambodia for example. Didn't we do a number on the Cambodian people in the 1970's? Don't we owe the country something? Wouldn't it be a great idea if we gave the land away?

Or what if we gave the land to Saudi Arabia and in return we could have unlimited oil for all vehicles that ran on green fuels for a dollar a gallon?

I mean, we're a creative country. Can't we just get rid of Wyoming and do something else with the space? We could sell it off for advertising space to Starbucks or Coca Cola and Budweiser to get rid of the mounting debt that we've accrued in the last eight years! I don't want to discuss politics but I mean, really? Don't we have a lot of debt right now? Can't we do something about it? I really believe we can get rid of this god forsaken state and do something better with it.

Why?

Why Wyoming?

It all began many years ago while traveling around the country in the Malibu Stacey Funtime Camper with my incredible cat, Sing. He wasn't happy living in the bus but got used to it after many days. He perched himself on the top of the counter that covered the stove, directly behind the driver's seat and he'd sit with his paw on my shoulder watching were we were going as I drove through the mountains, high deserts, low plains.

One night I was fatigued and decided to stop and sleep in a truck stop. It was a warm July night outside of Cheyenne. I had the windows unrolled less than half-way to let the breeze in since I decided not to pop the top causing attention to myself. Somehow Sing crawled out of the camper and dashed away into the night. I was devastated. He never returned. Did he hear something that caught his attention? Did he smell something tasty? What called him away from the cozy spot next to my head on my pillow?

Only one thing could do that...the sultry call of the devil state, Wyoming.

Oh sure, Wyoming has its good points like being the first state to grant women the right to vote back in 1870....a good thirty years before anyone else. I don't want to talk about all the good its done. I'm still too angry at it for all its done to me.

I knew too, when I boarded the Green Tortoise that I would have to go through Wyoming and I thought to myself maybe it was time that I changed my attitude about this gigantic state. Maybe it was time I grew up, practiced some forgiveness and moved on with my life.

And maybe it was too soon.

To be continued...

So much love,
All the way from over here...
Linda