As we toured the home, I could tell he was nervous by his body language. He kept hugging his tummy. I thought to myself that it takes a lot of courage for anyone to meet someone new, let alone naked. The Naked Guy didn't know what to do with his hands.
No pockets.
Poor Naked guy.
To make him feel more comfortable I picked up pictures of his children and asked some questions.
"She's so beautiful. What's her name?" I asked.
"Carmen" he said. "She's ten."
"Such a great age. And the boy?"
"Lucas. He's 8 and a joy." he boasted.
"So do they visit often?" I asked.
"Every weekend but I fly them to wherever I am and we're visit everywhere in the world. They love it!" He said.
What's this? A good father? A nurturing man too? Get out! Someone who wants to connect with his children and is committed to showing the kids the world? How does he do that I wondered.
"What is it exactly that you do?" I asked.
"Venture capitalist." he said shifting his attention away from my eyes and towards the sunset overlooking the lake.
Here we go I thought. Now we're getting to the reality of it all...Venture Capitalist...yeah right buddy. I know what they do! My enthusiasm for the house fades and skepticism sets in.
In South Florida Venture Capitalist is code word for "Drug Dealer". I've been to a lot of singles events and whenever some guy tells me he's a Venture Capitalist and I ask what that means they can't articulate what the job is. This is a red flag for me. Now I'm thinking he's got some boat that disappears to Ecuador or Columbia to get the goods to keep the east coast hopped up on coke. I am surprised that the cocaine community is still in fashion. That seems so 1985 to me...but so it is. In south Florida, and probably everywhere else, people are still doing coke.
I prodded, "So what exactly does a venture capitalist do?"
"I find money for companies that are going public" he said plainly.
Impressive. He knew the actual definition of what a venture capitalist does! Having lived in Seattle for 17 years and living through the dawn of the computer age with so many software companies being started and absorbed by Microsoft, I know that is what venture capitalists do.
Okay...now I really want to live here!
I took a moment to gather my thoughts and take note of what was happening. Here is an incredible home, 2 great animals, kids that might visit but were cute and I work and can deal with kids, Florida room, pool, piano, water delivery service, maid, 4 car garage, I can bring my cats, and on and on and on....
Fuck yeah! I gotta get this gig! My mind races...how can I snag this gig?
"Sell yourself baby!" I hear in my head. Make him want to have you in his home! The only thing this house was missing was the warmth of a woman. It was missing great smells, warm feelings, the feminine energy.
Very coolly I ask if I can play his piano as I started to seat myself. He gestures towards the bench and I sat and played "Ruby My Dear' in the style of Thelonious Monk. What man can resist a woman who can sing and play incredible jazz? I like to think of myself as the brunette version of Diana Krall...she's so lucky to snag Elvis Costello. I've played the piano since the age of 3 and started studying jazz 20 years ago so I can hold my own. I played with great feeling and expression and he smiled during the tune.
He was impressed. His daughter plays piano he says. I see him loosening up. His arms stop hugging his belly and he shifts to arms akimbo. A good sign. That is a confident stance. Good. Good. This is very good. A man should feel comfortable in his own home.
I finish the tune and get up moving into the kitchen. Surveying the Italian marble counter tops and Wolf stove, refrigerator, stack ovens I say, "You know, I'm a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America and quite an accomplished chef. Do you mind if I use the kitchen a lot?"
"Oh, I never use the kitchen. It'd be nice to have someone cooking." he said.
Good work Linda! That degree from the CIA was the best 40 grand I ever spent!
"So, how many people have responded to your ad?" I asked.
"You're the first." He said.
Excellent! I saw my future unfolding. Beautiful home, close to the beach, close to work...it is all going to work.
He asked me, "Do you have a lot of girlfriends down here?"
I say, "Some, sure. I really should have more friends for the 3 years that I've been here but I've put a lot of energy into my work and I'm hoping to make more friends soon."
"So will you have them over?" he asks.
A fair questions I thought.
"Only if you don't mind." I say. I had invited my sister for a visit earlier in the day and wondered how she'd do when Naked Guy was home, but the amenities were so great and she hasn't been laid in a while...maybe she'd like to see a naked man. Who knows?
"I'll have to tell them that you're a naturist before they come over and if they don't feel comfortable, the they might not visit." I added.
He nodded in understanding.
He said, "Well, I need to get ready to leave in the morning and I'll call you when I return from my next trip which should be in about 8 or 9 days."
"Great!" This really was perfect for me. I had time to process the change and get rid of the rest of my stuff. If all goes well, I could be moved in by February 1st. It was all working out perfectly.
He escorts me to the door and we shake hands. I touch the pooches head and tell her that I hope we can be the best of friends. As I exit he opens the gate and I wave goodbye.
Fantastic! I am as high as a kite on the 15 mile drive north back to my home. I think: Close to Miami. Piano. Wolf kitchen equipment! Good manifestation Linda! Thank you god, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you I think over and over on the ride back.
Wow. How did I get so lucky?
I call Karen (my bestest of friends and an incredible soul-sister )and tell her all about my experience and we celebrate on the phone. Once home as we're jabberjawing away about this and that, I receive a text message from the Naked Guy.
I tell Karen, "Hold on, I gotta read this! Maybe he's offering me the house? Hold on!"
The text says: I find you very attractive did u notice my lball?
I get Karen back and tell her.
Neither of us are very experienced in text messaging. Its not what my friends and I do so there are a lot of shortcuts that I don't understand.
I ask Karen, "What does lball mean?"
She says, "Maybe it's short for eyeballing you? Checking you out?"
"Maybe..." I say. "What should I do?"
She said, "Text him back that your flattered. You're flattered right?"
"Well yeah!" I say.
"Did you find him attractive?" she asks.
"Not really, he was cute but short. He had really kind eyes." I say.
Most men are much shorter than me. I'm 6 feet tall and prefer a man my height or taller. It's just a physical thing, but I have certainly dated many, many men shorter than me and I'm not so shallow to keep something like height or age from dating a guy. It's just that I prefer a taller man. That's all.
We end our call so I could think about what to do. What kind of message should I send back? What to say? What to say....
To be continued...
No pockets.
Poor Naked guy.
To make him feel more comfortable I picked up pictures of his children and asked some questions.
"She's so beautiful. What's her name?" I asked.
"Carmen" he said. "She's ten."
"Such a great age. And the boy?"
"Lucas. He's 8 and a joy." he boasted.
"So do they visit often?" I asked.
"Every weekend but I fly them to wherever I am and we're visit everywhere in the world. They love it!" He said.
What's this? A good father? A nurturing man too? Get out! Someone who wants to connect with his children and is committed to showing the kids the world? How does he do that I wondered.
"What is it exactly that you do?" I asked.
"Venture capitalist." he said shifting his attention away from my eyes and towards the sunset overlooking the lake.
Here we go I thought. Now we're getting to the reality of it all...Venture Capitalist...yeah right buddy. I know what they do! My enthusiasm for the house fades and skepticism sets in.
In South Florida Venture Capitalist is code word for "Drug Dealer". I've been to a lot of singles events and whenever some guy tells me he's a Venture Capitalist and I ask what that means they can't articulate what the job is. This is a red flag for me. Now I'm thinking he's got some boat that disappears to Ecuador or Columbia to get the goods to keep the east coast hopped up on coke. I am surprised that the cocaine community is still in fashion. That seems so 1985 to me...but so it is. In south Florida, and probably everywhere else, people are still doing coke.
I prodded, "So what exactly does a venture capitalist do?"
"I find money for companies that are going public" he said plainly.
Impressive. He knew the actual definition of what a venture capitalist does! Having lived in Seattle for 17 years and living through the dawn of the computer age with so many software companies being started and absorbed by Microsoft, I know that is what venture capitalists do.
Okay...now I really want to live here!
I took a moment to gather my thoughts and take note of what was happening. Here is an incredible home, 2 great animals, kids that might visit but were cute and I work and can deal with kids, Florida room, pool, piano, water delivery service, maid, 4 car garage, I can bring my cats, and on and on and on....
Fuck yeah! I gotta get this gig! My mind races...how can I snag this gig?
"Sell yourself baby!" I hear in my head. Make him want to have you in his home! The only thing this house was missing was the warmth of a woman. It was missing great smells, warm feelings, the feminine energy.
Very coolly I ask if I can play his piano as I started to seat myself. He gestures towards the bench and I sat and played "Ruby My Dear' in the style of Thelonious Monk. What man can resist a woman who can sing and play incredible jazz? I like to think of myself as the brunette version of Diana Krall...she's so lucky to snag Elvis Costello. I've played the piano since the age of 3 and started studying jazz 20 years ago so I can hold my own. I played with great feeling and expression and he smiled during the tune.
He was impressed. His daughter plays piano he says. I see him loosening up. His arms stop hugging his belly and he shifts to arms akimbo. A good sign. That is a confident stance. Good. Good. This is very good. A man should feel comfortable in his own home.
I finish the tune and get up moving into the kitchen. Surveying the Italian marble counter tops and Wolf stove, refrigerator, stack ovens I say, "You know, I'm a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America and quite an accomplished chef. Do you mind if I use the kitchen a lot?"
"Oh, I never use the kitchen. It'd be nice to have someone cooking." he said.
Good work Linda! That degree from the CIA was the best 40 grand I ever spent!
"So, how many people have responded to your ad?" I asked.
"You're the first." He said.
Excellent! I saw my future unfolding. Beautiful home, close to the beach, close to work...it is all going to work.
He asked me, "Do you have a lot of girlfriends down here?"
I say, "Some, sure. I really should have more friends for the 3 years that I've been here but I've put a lot of energy into my work and I'm hoping to make more friends soon."
"So will you have them over?" he asks.
A fair questions I thought.
"Only if you don't mind." I say. I had invited my sister for a visit earlier in the day and wondered how she'd do when Naked Guy was home, but the amenities were so great and she hasn't been laid in a while...maybe she'd like to see a naked man. Who knows?
"I'll have to tell them that you're a naturist before they come over and if they don't feel comfortable, the they might not visit." I added.
He nodded in understanding.
He said, "Well, I need to get ready to leave in the morning and I'll call you when I return from my next trip which should be in about 8 or 9 days."
"Great!" This really was perfect for me. I had time to process the change and get rid of the rest of my stuff. If all goes well, I could be moved in by February 1st. It was all working out perfectly.
He escorts me to the door and we shake hands. I touch the pooches head and tell her that I hope we can be the best of friends. As I exit he opens the gate and I wave goodbye.
Fantastic! I am as high as a kite on the 15 mile drive north back to my home. I think: Close to Miami. Piano. Wolf kitchen equipment! Good manifestation Linda! Thank you god, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you I think over and over on the ride back.
Wow. How did I get so lucky?
I call Karen (my bestest of friends and an incredible soul-sister )and tell her all about my experience and we celebrate on the phone. Once home as we're jabberjawing away about this and that, I receive a text message from the Naked Guy.
I tell Karen, "Hold on, I gotta read this! Maybe he's offering me the house? Hold on!"
The text says: I find you very attractive did u notice my lball?
I get Karen back and tell her.
Neither of us are very experienced in text messaging. Its not what my friends and I do so there are a lot of shortcuts that I don't understand.
I ask Karen, "What does lball mean?"
She says, "Maybe it's short for eyeballing you? Checking you out?"
"Maybe..." I say. "What should I do?"
She said, "Text him back that your flattered. You're flattered right?"
"Well yeah!" I say.
"Did you find him attractive?" she asks.
"Not really, he was cute but short. He had really kind eyes." I say.
Most men are much shorter than me. I'm 6 feet tall and prefer a man my height or taller. It's just a physical thing, but I have certainly dated many, many men shorter than me and I'm not so shallow to keep something like height or age from dating a guy. It's just that I prefer a taller man. That's all.
We end our call so I could think about what to do. What kind of message should I send back? What to say? What to say....
To be continued...
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