he human male A.K.A. Homus Erectus A.K.A Facinationus Withus Peni
We really are two different creatures; the male and the female Different species actually. Zacharia Sitchin says that the gods (females) mated with the beasts (male) and created a new species. What other explanation can there be for the vast differences between the two? A hybrid. That makes sense to me.
I responded to a house-sitting ad for a businessman who travels a lot. He has a lovely home and needs a responsible, trustworthy person to protect his property and live in his space while he is out of town 22 days a month. Rent free, close to the beach, and my kitties can have a home too.
It sounded great so I called right away. On the phone he told me he was a naturist.
"Do you know what that means?" he asked.
"You like to be nude all the time? You're a nudist?" I replied.
"Yes, but we prefer naturist. Are you open to that?" he asked.
"Sure, as long as it is not required of me."
"No, only acceptance." he said.
"Yes, I'm open. Let's see what happens." I said.
We made arrangements to meet later in the day and I thought about the possibility of living with a naked guy. I'm pretty adventuress and open to all sorts of new things so why not? I need a place to live and if this guy is really gone 22 days a month and if he has a great house...maybe I could live with a naked guy. Heck...I'm out a lot and go to bed early...I got my life and who knows? Why judge before meeting him?
Besides now I really wanted to see this guy. What does a Naturist look like? And what's the problem with being a nudist? Does he have fabric covered furniture? Do his kids go around naked (he has them on the weekends) or should I ask, do his kids go around naturally? Naturistic? Au Natural? Nekid?
The word Nudist has a negative social connotations just like the way midget does. What does the word nudist imply?
Freak?
Sex?
Freaky sex?
That's all I got.
Honestly though, I don't believe the word nudist has as much violence associated with it as midget. I've met several little people and have asked about the word midget. One woman told me the word is offensive because of the public humiliation and cruelty associated with being judged based on the appearance only. I can understand that perspective and it is easy for me to eliminate midget from my vocabulary.
Personally, being gigantic compared to the average-sized woman, I find the words little more offensive. When I am called big it is an insult. Yet I have come to accept my size. Words don't hurt me unless if they are delivered with an Italian evil-eyed hex.
Can I live with a naturist?
I decided to take the risk and meet him at his house. I fantasized about all the money I’d save, and living in a multimillion dollar mansion on the ocean in South Florida.
As I drove over there I prayed to God in gratitude for guiding me to this possibility and asked for guidance.
"God," I asked, "what if he is naked when I arrive?"
God said, "Be cool, baby. Don't look down. Be cool, be cool.”
"Good advice God, thanks!" I prayed back. I get such great support from God.
His house is closer to Miami and was hard to find. The gates opened as I drove in and he said he needed a moment to get to the door so I waited at the door and noticed the lovely landscaping, privacy, and location. Private paradise.
He answered the door nude. This was good. I gotta see the goods before I sign-on, know what I mean. What if I found him repulsive? I couldn't live with a naked guy who I thought was disgusting, unclean, or a freak.
How does the average American prepare to meet a Naturist for the first time? Do we teach our children this in school? No. I'm sure there is a "Naturist for Dummies" book out there, but I didn't have that kind of time. What has been my greatest teacher my whole life?
Television.
Television is the ultimate teacher...especially cartoons. TV has taught me so many great things like how to cook, how to wrap presents, how to read (Easy Reader on the Electric Company was quite helpful to me before he learned how to read scripts and move into films like Shawshank Redemption.)...Television has been my favorite teacher.
God spoke again to me, “Remember what TV has taught you...TV has all the answers.”
At that moment, I remembered an episode of Family Guy about a nudist family. Meg, a low self-esteemed teen, started dating the son in a nudist family. Naturally, Peter responded poorly and used the words like nipple and bush throughout the episode in uncomfortable situations and the awkward silences and ball jokes were fast coming. What did I learn? Don't be like Peter Griffin. That's good advice for everyday.
Here's my mental note:
If I ever meet a nudist, keep eye-contact and be sure to behave as if they were dressed. It is just a lifestyle choice. Nothing more. We're born nude, we die nude. Ashes to ashes dust to dust.
And that is exactly what I did.
He greeted me at the door nude and I didn't look down at his package. I was checking out the cathedral ceilings, the piano, the huge kitchen, the adorable puppy and kitty, the huge Florida room, the master bedroom suite (which I could have he said) or the twin-room suite (also I could have that room if I preferred it he said), the 4 car garage and on and on and on.
22 days a month gone.
Can I live with a naturist?
He had kind eyes and was gentle. He seemed nervous as I imagine anyone is meeting people for the first time, let alone nude. I admired his courage. Plus he had a cute little ass. He's kind-of a little guy compared to me but not repulsive and quite frankly I didn't care that he was naked at all.
To be continued...
We really are two different creatures; the male and the female Different species actually. Zacharia Sitchin says that the gods (females) mated with the beasts (male) and created a new species. What other explanation can there be for the vast differences between the two? A hybrid. That makes sense to me.
I responded to a house-sitting ad for a businessman who travels a lot. He has a lovely home and needs a responsible, trustworthy person to protect his property and live in his space while he is out of town 22 days a month. Rent free, close to the beach, and my kitties can have a home too.
It sounded great so I called right away. On the phone he told me he was a naturist.
"Do you know what that means?" he asked.
"You like to be nude all the time? You're a nudist?" I replied.
"Yes, but we prefer naturist. Are you open to that?" he asked.
"Sure, as long as it is not required of me."
"No, only acceptance." he said.
"Yes, I'm open. Let's see what happens." I said.
We made arrangements to meet later in the day and I thought about the possibility of living with a naked guy. I'm pretty adventuress and open to all sorts of new things so why not? I need a place to live and if this guy is really gone 22 days a month and if he has a great house...maybe I could live with a naked guy. Heck...I'm out a lot and go to bed early...I got my life and who knows? Why judge before meeting him?
Besides now I really wanted to see this guy. What does a Naturist look like? And what's the problem with being a nudist? Does he have fabric covered furniture? Do his kids go around naked (he has them on the weekends) or should I ask, do his kids go around naturally? Naturistic? Au Natural? Nekid?
The word Nudist has a negative social connotations just like the way midget does. What does the word nudist imply?
Freak?
Sex?
Freaky sex?
That's all I got.
Honestly though, I don't believe the word nudist has as much violence associated with it as midget. I've met several little people and have asked about the word midget. One woman told me the word is offensive because of the public humiliation and cruelty associated with being judged based on the appearance only. I can understand that perspective and it is easy for me to eliminate midget from my vocabulary.
Personally, being gigantic compared to the average-sized woman, I find the words little more offensive. When I am called big it is an insult. Yet I have come to accept my size. Words don't hurt me unless if they are delivered with an Italian evil-eyed hex.
Can I live with a naturist?
I decided to take the risk and meet him at his house. I fantasized about all the money I’d save, and living in a multimillion dollar mansion on the ocean in South Florida.
As I drove over there I prayed to God in gratitude for guiding me to this possibility and asked for guidance.
"God," I asked, "what if he is naked when I arrive?"
God said, "Be cool, baby. Don't look down. Be cool, be cool.”
"Good advice God, thanks!" I prayed back. I get such great support from God.
His house is closer to Miami and was hard to find. The gates opened as I drove in and he said he needed a moment to get to the door so I waited at the door and noticed the lovely landscaping, privacy, and location. Private paradise.
He answered the door nude. This was good. I gotta see the goods before I sign-on, know what I mean. What if I found him repulsive? I couldn't live with a naked guy who I thought was disgusting, unclean, or a freak.
How does the average American prepare to meet a Naturist for the first time? Do we teach our children this in school? No. I'm sure there is a "Naturist for Dummies" book out there, but I didn't have that kind of time. What has been my greatest teacher my whole life?
Television.
Television is the ultimate teacher...especially cartoons. TV has taught me so many great things like how to cook, how to wrap presents, how to read (Easy Reader on the Electric Company was quite helpful to me before he learned how to read scripts and move into films like Shawshank Redemption.)...Television has been my favorite teacher.
God spoke again to me, “Remember what TV has taught you...TV has all the answers.”
At that moment, I remembered an episode of Family Guy about a nudist family. Meg, a low self-esteemed teen, started dating the son in a nudist family. Naturally, Peter responded poorly and used the words like nipple and bush throughout the episode in uncomfortable situations and the awkward silences and ball jokes were fast coming. What did I learn? Don't be like Peter Griffin. That's good advice for everyday.
Here's my mental note:
If I ever meet a nudist, keep eye-contact and be sure to behave as if they were dressed. It is just a lifestyle choice. Nothing more. We're born nude, we die nude. Ashes to ashes dust to dust.
And that is exactly what I did.
He greeted me at the door nude and I didn't look down at his package. I was checking out the cathedral ceilings, the piano, the huge kitchen, the adorable puppy and kitty, the huge Florida room, the master bedroom suite (which I could have he said) or the twin-room suite (also I could have that room if I preferred it he said), the 4 car garage and on and on and on.
22 days a month gone.
Can I live with a naturist?
He had kind eyes and was gentle. He seemed nervous as I imagine anyone is meeting people for the first time, let alone nude. I admired his courage. Plus he had a cute little ass. He's kind-of a little guy compared to me but not repulsive and quite frankly I didn't care that he was naked at all.
To be continued...
1 comment:
Great to read this story again! Hilarious and brilliant writing.
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